by Wendy Silvers | Apr 3, 2014 | Compassionate Parenting, Conscious Loving, Conscious Parenting, Leadership & Empowerment, Universal Peace Principles, Wendy's Wisdom Notes
Nonviolence is absolute commitment to the way of love. Love is not emotional bash; it is not empty sentimentalism. It is the active outpouring of one’s whole being into the being of another.
— Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 1957
April 4th brings the 17th Annual Season for Nonviolence event to a close. This annual 64 day campaign, co-founded in 1998 by Dr. Arun Gandhi and The Association for Global New Thought (AGNT), spanning from January 30th – April 4th, the memorial anniversaries of Mahatma Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It is a time when focus is brought to the philosophy of attaining peace through nonviolent action. It is so wonderful to honor these profound wayshowers as well as recognize that living from a consciousness of peace, love, compassion, empathy, nonviolence, forgiveness and reconciliation is an everyday practice not an event..
There is no greater crucible for the practice of nonviolence, peace and compassion than partnering and co-parenting. I heard a mom say recently that, “world peace begins at home.” I am in complete agreement, however, how many people can say that they grew up in families where peace, love, compassion, kindness, generosity, empathy and connected communication was practiced?
Being in relationship is a work of the heart. It is a deeply spiritual practice. I often joke that it’s like putting miracle grow on the places within us that are seeking nurturing, loving and healing. Add a child or children to the mix and parenting becomes a whole different adventure. There’s nothing more heartrending than seeing the crumpled face and fear in your child’s eyes when you and partner fight in front of them or lash out at them in anger. Every child wants their parents to get along. It hurts them deeply when they see and hear their parents being hurtful to one another. The impact of parents not getting along on children is something that takes a long time to transcend. A child begins to believe about themselves what they see and hear in their house from their parents and it becomes their inner voice. Here are some questions to consider:
If you answered YES to any of these questions, join me, Sunday, April 6, 2:30-4:30pm at the Agape International Spiritual Center where we will explore the 4 Keys to Co-Parenting Peacefully.
The bliss, ecstasy and everything falling into place that we see unfold in tv shows and movies doesn’t typically occur off the screen. Real life relating can be messy and unpredictable. Even, and, especially, when you’re on a spiritual path. It can be mystifying how calm and centered you might be in your meditation or at your spiritual community yet one wrong word or look from your partner and it’s like kerosene to your being and you flip your lid. When family of origin issues emerge, you may find yourself communicating in ways that are ineffective and combative. This doesn’t mean that you’re bad and wrong or that the person you’re with is bad or wrong. It’s just an indication that deeper work is calling us forth. Most of us weren’t shown how to have healthy, conscious, intimate relationships. Most clients I sit with didn’t grow up seeing conflicts resolved through compassionate, connected communication. And, like it or not, what we don’t address, and, embrace, we usually repeat.
If you’d like to experience greater peace in your co-parenting relationship and in your relating, join me for the 4 Keys to Co-Parent Peacefully presentation Sunday, April 6, 2:30-4:30, at the monthly Parenting Ministry meeting at the Agape International Spiritual Center, 5700 Buckingham Parkway, Culver City, 90230.
You will leave with:
- 4 keys to Co-Parent peacefully
- Tools to communicate from a nonviolent, compassionate and connected place
- Powerful strategies to unhook yourself when triggered
- Ways to repair any ruptures with your partners, co-parents and children
This is an adults only workshop. Love donations are welcome. Childcare will be offered at $5 per child. You must RSVP so that we are sure to have childcare. RSVP: parentingministry@agapelive.com
Until next time, know that you are powerful beyond measure and loved beyond description.
Peace and many blessings,
Director, Agape Parenting Ministry
 Are you a busy mama? Or, know one? Gift yourself or someone you know with Balance for Busy Moms, an international bestseller. My chapter is, Rock Yo Mama Self: 4 Pathways to Activate your WOMB wisdom. You’ll both be so happy you did. Mother’s Day is every day! https://wendysilvers.com/balance-for-busy-moms/ |
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by Wendy Silvers | Mar 5, 2014 | Conscious Loving, Leadership & Empowerment, Uncategorized, Universal Peace Principles, Wendy's Wisdom Notes
9 Steps to Family Forgiveness
It’s hard to believe that summer is coming to an end. It seems as though it flew by. My oldest nephew leaves for college in a week, which is stunning to me because it seems like just yesterday he was a baby. Much as I would like to, I don’t get to see him very often, as he lives far from us. We talk about visiting, though it gets a bit complicated because of his parents’ divorce years ago.
As you reflect on your summer, are your thoughts filled with cherished memories of special quality time spent with extended family? Or are your memories of family togetherness tinged with thoughts of emotionally-charged moments? Reuniting with family can feel warm and fuzzy and wonderful, or it can be like visiting a dangerous neighborhood that triggers hyper-vigilance as you watch your step and watch your back.
Unresolved and festering feelings can throw a serious wrench in family fun, especially when one feels injured by another person’s words and behavior. And whatever the infraction may have been, if it is unresolved, it seems to grow with time. Do you ever find yourself having an imaginary conversation with the person you feel wronged you? Well, maybe you haven’t, but I’ve sure done this. So, off we go to reunions and have a great time — or we come back with more grudges. What sets the tone for a pleasant experience or a dreadful experience? Forgiveness.
Forgiveness is for YOU. It’s your liberation from the relentless re-experiencing of a hurt. It releases you from the gnawing feeling of ick you feel inside each time you hear the person’s name or see their face. In certain cases, not remaining in touch with a family member makes absolute sense. If you fear for your physical or emotional safety, distancing yourself may be wise. In other situations, when the idea of forgiveness is presented, many people balk. “But he, but she, but they,” is a common refrain. Yet what is the most self-loving act to take? To forgive another and let go of harboring a new resentment or a longstanding one is a high act of self-liberation. Forgiveness is a simple choice to make but not always easy to do, especially when we feel we are right.
Forgiveness is not about condoning what occurred; it is about freeing up psychic energy that whirls inside of you so that your heart is more open. The truth is that when we nurse resentments and hold unforgiveness, the object of our disdain is usually doing fine, thank you very much. So, who’s the one who’s imprisoned? Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
I practice forgiveness on a daily basis because I want to feel good. I make a choice to live with an open heart. Here’s what I do to help me free myself of resentment, which leads to unforgiveness, a grimace on my face, a closed heart and lots of noise in my head. It can take me a minute at times to feel the release or even recognize that the agada I’m feeling inside stems from unforgiveness. As I said, it’s a practice. If I still feel upset about the person or situation, I repeat the process.
1. Write a Letter
I write a letter to the person, place or situation that I feel resentment toward. I let it rip, with no edits. But I don’t send it, of course. When it’s complete, I read it to a dear and trusted friend who knows that I’ve just lost my mind for a minute. And then I burn it.
2. Set an Intention
I do not do anything without first setting an intention for what I want to experience in any interaction or situation. These are the questions to ask yourself: What do I want to experience? What am I bringing to this interaction and/or situation? Change the focus so that it’s not on what you’re going to get. Be prepared before you step into the room with your family members. Consider what example you are setting for your children. Children remember what you do more than what you say.
3. Define Forgiveness
Many times there’s a misconception that forgiving is condoning, and that’s not the case. Forgiveness sets us free rather than keeping us in emotional bondage to the experience and to the person(s) involved. Keep in mind the old adage, “Would you rather be happy or right?”
4. Explore Your Expectations
I continually explore expectations of myself, other people and situations so that I am not blindsided by the subtle act of setting myself up for disappointment. What yardstick am I measuring myself against? Was there an unexpressed expectation? Are you expecting people to be who they’re not? Expectations can be premeditated resentments.
5. Consider Your Personal Payoff for Holding a Grudge
Ooh, this one is a doozy to look at. Many times there can be a false sense of empowerment or self-righteous anger over something that occurred, and people can be reluctant to let go of this. The right use of anger is different than self-righteous anger.
6. Communicate
How do you communicate? When we’re attached to being “right,” it leaves little room for understanding each other’s needs. If you communicate through the stink eye, smoldering silence, snide, biting comments, or slamming cabinets and doors, make the decision to practice compassionate communication so that resolution may be reached.
7. Self-love
Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t speak to yourself meanly. Be kind to yourself. And if that looks like removing yourself from negative conversation and behavior, do so. Do not fall prey to the false belief that it is noble to remain in situations that are unacceptable to get them right. Sometimes love says “enough is enough.”
8. Be Willing to See Yourself, People and Situations Differently
Most people are doing the best they can in any given situation. Their best may not work for you, but your best may not work for them, either.
9. Remain Open to Miracles
Miracles are available to us at all times. Miracles are shifts in consciousness that occur all the time. Be open to something unexpected and magnificent happening right before your eyes.
This article was originally published on Huffington Post, 8/18/2012
by Wendy Silvers | Feb 21, 2014 | Compassionate Parenting, Conscious Parenting, Leadership & Empowerment, Million Mamas Musings, Million Mamas Rising, Partnering, Universal Peace Principles, Wendy Silvers' Videos, Wendy's Wisdom Notes
The power of the feminine energy is rising in our culture. Our girls are exposed to way more than we were when we were growing up ~ more choices, more challenges. How do we prepare them to live fulfilling, prosperous and joyous lives in this world?
- Are you the mother of a daughter? Or, is there a girl in your life that you want to see feel confident and self-assured in her life?
- Would you like to be your daughter’s advocate and help her honor her voice?
- Would you like to counter the messages the media gives our girls about sex and sexuality?
- Would you like to help your daughter cultivate a vision of her future that incorporates the things she’s discovered she’s passionate about?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, and, if you’d like to ask me some questions about this, please join me, Saturday, February 22, 9 am PST/10 am MST/11 am CST/12 pm EST. Just click the image, or this link, to REGISTER FREE: http://raisingempowereddaughters.com/?ap_id=MamaWendy
by Wendy Silvers | Oct 20, 2013 | Compassionate Parenting, Conscious Loving, Conscious Parenting, Leadership & Empowerment, Soul Alchemy, Uncategorized, Universal Peace Principles, Wendy Silvers' Videos, Wendy's Wisdom Notes
There are no limits to the power of the mama. Mother energy is tender, fierce and unceasing. Think of Mother Nature. Today, we are redefining what Mama Power means.
You know that you don’t have to be a mama to rock yo mama self, right? In certain cultures, we call little girls, “mama.” Do you know that there are many ways to rock yo mama self — rockin mama, hot mama, sassy mama, cool mama, sexy mama, stay-at-home mama, work-at-home mama, mamapreneur, meditating mama, attachment parenting mama, peace mama, single mama, married mama, straight mama, gay mama, the ways are endless, there’s not one way. However you do it, one thing’s for sure: The Mamas I’ve talked with and counseled are about having freedom over their own bodies and good lives and want all the women and children to be safe, fed, housed, clothed, loved, educated and celebrated!
How do we do this? It starts with each of us, One heart, one person, one family, one teacher, one politician, one community at a time ’til it builds and becomes undeniable. We incorporate compassionate parenting and communication into our lives on a daily basis. We look inside ourselves for the places within us that feel stuck and do our own inner work rather than pointing fingers at others. We celebrate ourselves. Dance naked, if we want to. Hug a tree. Continue our education, get a degree, maybe a PhD, a JD, or not. Work full-time, part-time, or stay at home. Be devoted to our children’s and our well-being. Give someone something without them knowing it’s from us. Begin to focus on what we appreciate in our children and loved ones rather than focus on what we don’t. Appreciate ourselves for all we do. Keep our minds filled with the good that’s all around by surrounding ourselves with people, music and entertainment that lifts us up. Be honest with ourselves and our sisters. Live authentically.
Turn off the news. Demand clean water, clean food, clean air, safe schools, by contacting our elected representatives. Support an organization that is aligned with what you believe in. Join the Million Mamas Movement. http://www.millionmamasmovement.org Support the teaching of compassionate parenting in our neighborhoods. Make a difference by being different. Dare to bring loving mindfulness to all you do. Cultivate a compassionate heart. I practice and teach compassionate parenting and the 4 Pathways to Cultivate the Compassionate Heart of the Mother. Let’s support all mamas in being the powerhouses that they are, providing training to those who want it, rather than knock them down. Let’s make our world a place where all children truly are safe, fed, housed, clothed, loved, educated and celebrated. We address one thing, and, as we do, we begin to address the others. And, remember to give thanks to the papas, for without the papas, there would be no mamas. We need to honor those visionary men who recognize that our society is in dire need of the Mother energy to restore the imbalance the patriarchal power over pattern that has been in charge created.
A mother will go to any length to keep her children safe. Think Angelina Jolie — she took a huge and radical step by having a double mastectomy surgery so that her children will have a mama as they grow up. Let’s stop judging her and acknowledge her for using her celebrity for good. She brought awareness to the general public about the BRC1 test. Think 2011 Nobel Peace Laureate Leymah Gbowee — she galvanized the Muslim and Catholic women of Liberia to bring peace to Liberia and oust despot Charles Taylor. I had the honor of spending the day with Leymah Gbowee and she is one of my she-ros for sure. Think Maria Belon — her experience with the 2004 Tsunami was made into a movie, The Impossible. And, there are many more mamas, living on your street, in your neighborhood, who will go to great lengths for their children or the children they love.
We are evolving family-hood through love, compassion in action and empathy. The next time you see a mama, smile at her. See if there are any mamas or papas that need your help. What children need help? Where can you lend a hand? Or a donation?
Your voice matters, you matter. Never ever underestimate how your being here makes a difference in someone’s life. Activate that unstoppable power within you that says I’m here, I have a right to be here, I matter and I’ve got things to say! And if you need someone in your corner cheering you on, you just call on me. So, Rock on! Because I know, absolutely, that you are here on purpose, with purpose and that when we mobilize the mamas, we transform the world!
by Wendy Silvers | Oct 15, 2013 | Conscious Parenting, Uncategorized, Wendy's Wisdom Notes
One of our Million Mamas, Monique Ruffin, wrote a series for the Huffington Post called Moms Change the World. I had the honor of being interviewed by her. Enjoy the article, below.
Moms Change the World: Wendy Silvers
“I’m on a personal mission to tell the stories of moms who know their power and use it to transform the world within and around them. I’m convinced that empowered, knowing, self-embodied mothers can move mountains. It doesn’t matter what type of work these moms do. What matters is that they do it from their hearts and souls, knowing they can create change.
Wendy Silvers is one of these mothers. Her soothing voice, and the way she gently sways as she walks have a power as soft as water. She’s both a sensual, nurturing mom, and a woman determined to uplift humanity, to empower and inspire mothers to harness their power for good, and to bring compassionate parenting to every family around the globe. With this goal in mind, she started the Million Mamas Movement. “I would like to see women and children being well taken care of. Health care for everyone is important. And I’d like to see the educational system be revamped, developing our children’s emotional intelligence as well as their academic abilities. To have a world that works for everyone; where people’s needs are recognized and met to the best of our ability as a society.”
Truly Wendy lives and works between the secular and spiritual worlds. The ground is surely shifting beneath her feet as she works to be a good steward of her daughter, Joie- May, and to teach others to follow an empowering parenting path. Through her Compassionate Parenting Classes, Wendy is intent on opening the doors for a generation of parents who create safe spaces in which children can think for themselves and participate in family life — even before birth. Her vision reminds me of the practices of a certain African tribe in which a child’s birthday is counted from the time the mother has her first thought of the child. This mother-to-be then goes into solitude to listen within and hear the song of the child, which she then teaches to the father and the community. When the child is conceived and throughout his or her life, the song is sung to the child, serving as a reminder of who he or she is. Wendy’s movement was founded to bring this level of connection to all parents and children.
When I asked Wendy how she thought she changed the world, she said “I change the world by healing myself and by knowing that I have a right to be here and to share my voice on the planet. I change the world by raising a child who is aware of her power and who I honor at the deepest level of her being.” Wendy believes that our planet will change with the nurturance of children who are recognized as complete human beings and are treated accordingly. These children will then become, like Wendy and her Million Mamas, the visionary parents who demand clean air, food, and water for themselves and their children.
Before we parted, Wendy and I talked about her daughter, who she loves like none other. “Joie-May is becoming a beautiful woman,” she said. “Her body is changing from a girl’s to a young woman’s, and she’s so beautiful.” My heart flung open as I watched this lovely, sensual woman open to create space for her daughter to blossom. We embraced with a strong but loving hug. She held me tight like someone who knows how to nurture does, and I could feel the strength of her love, which is expansive enough to carry and cure us all.”
